A Story, But Not That One I Was Going To Tell You Damned Kids

Let me tell you whippersnappers a story! When I was a boy, during the war, all the steel workers were busy building bombs to kill those filthy krauts! I found it rather hard as an entrepreneuing young man to find ample steel reserves for my, um, needs. What was I to do? Anyone would have walked into the Federal Bullion Reserve with a bomb strapped to themselves demanding his fair share of pancakes! But no! They told me that I was confused and that the nice men were there to help me! Bah! I knew they wanted to steal my pancakes! I tried to bite one, because they put a nice coat on me so I couldn't hurt my arms, but they didn't like that! But now I've escaped! I want my medal! You stole it! I am Alberta person, and I make want shinies for my glories! The mayor told me to gather the children and women, and no they're right over there in the sack! I swear! It's in the back of the van! I was only trying to help? Am I going to be honored for my service to this country or am I going to be locked away in a damp dark cell where I can't make anymore friends! Back in my day, if someone was deemed crazy, they were locked away and starved! And now all these crazy people want to lock ME away!? Where is this country headed? I only wanted to help Ahhhhhhhhahhhasdhghghjhagshgd